Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder

Today, I went and sat outside for a while and breathed in the nice, fresh construction. Then, a short and cute-as-a-button blonde student crept up. I couldn't help but notice her pink sweater set, Chanel earrings, and Prada bag. She approached me with the same gimmick that I had already heard several times.

Cut to scene:

Girl: Hieeeeee, I was wondering, do you usually go to pricey salons to get your hair cut?
Me: No.
Girl: Well, how about color... Doesn't it cost you a lot for color and highlights?
Me: I never color. Sometimes I even cut it myself.
Girl: (face twisting in horror) Well, right now this salon (pulls out brochure) is offering a cut, color, and deep conditioning treatment for 64.99. That's over a $300 value! You're basically spending what you would normally on a haircut on all this!
Me: My Supercut haircuts cost me 11.99...
Girl: Yes! But, these are all professional stylists trained at Vidal Sassoon Academy.
Me: When I get 12 haircuts, the 13th is free.
Girl: Well, the purpose of this is to pamper yourself sooooo much that you love it and keep coming back! And you can tell your friends! That way, you're a walking advertisement!
Me: Aha! An ulterior motive...
Girl: Well, you know, we don't just ask anyone off the streets to join in on our offer... You have to have a certain look. We pick the girls who--
Me: --look like they need it most desperately?
Girl: Nooo! It's just the opposite! We're not going to pick a girl who looks like 'ohmigod, like what is wrong with her hair?!' We only ask ones who have nice healthy hair and who look like they would want to take care of themselves. You have really nice hair, but you're not really showing it off.
Me: Mhmm. Well, as you can tell, I am a student and I really don't have that kind of money to spend on hair. Thanks for "considering" me, though...