Turtle Story

I saved a turtle. There is a pond on campus which is home to some koi and a few turtles. As I was walking to the health center, I noticed a turtle cowering and ducking into its shell next to the automatic sliding door. "Hmm," I thought, "This turtle is cowering and ducking into it's shell next to the automatic sliding door. It must be frightened." A couple of people from my history class also noticed and we decided to help. We called campus information and they were very rude so we knew it was up to us. I decided to carry it back to the pond, which was about 15 feet away (long walk for a turtle).

I'd never carried a turtle before and I wasn't sure if they have any means of attack like poisonous gas or something, so I studied it from a number of angles before settling on a way to carry it. I decided to pick it up with a few fingers by its sides, and try to keep clear from its legs. I also decided it would be best to carry it close to the ground, in case it manages to slip out of my grasp. It was a good plan, indeed. I had to take a break about every 4 steps because I noticed it became nervous. I also observed that each time I put it down and then picked it up again, it opened its jaw very widely and held its front legs straight out. Funny turtle. Then I realized it's not being funny, but is trying to look aggressive. And I, suffering from A.D.D., irrational thought processes, and quite possibly mild insanity, stopped to watch it in its attack mode and brood over this occurrence. It seemed silly, to me, that this turtle is being carried off by a "predator" and all it can do is jut out its front legs and widely part its characteristically reptilian triangular jaws as if to say, "Come on, bitch, stick your finger in my mouth. I DARE YOU!"

And then this made me think back to kindergarten (all while I'm carrying the turtle). I began to remember the colorful images and silly, outdated cartoon drawings of animals on the walls that were supposed to teach children like us sensitivity and solidarity in such a crooked world. And, along with the monkeys, elephants, and parrots, there was always a turtle. A dopey looking, bright-apple-green turtle smiling stupidly and crossing its eyes. I couldn’t help but remember these images that were typical of a carefree, American childhood. I began to grasp that what I had been exposed to was a tremendous misrepresentation of the general turtle population. Now, after my encounter, I know that I have been lied to; typical of a troubled, American adulthood.