First Blog in Ages

Ungrateful Readers:

As you may or may not have noticed, I have ceased to take part in this fruitless activity I call blogging. It's not that I have nothing to say... I have just grown bored of this futile exercise. But I guess since you're still checking in and seem so eager to see what's new, I can throw you a bone or a morsel of food here and there.

Let's see...
I am working at the Hollywood Bowl again this summer. I noticed that a lot of people who read this blog were under the impression that I quit... As in actually quit. I guess I should have made it clearer that I quit for the REST OF THE SEASON. Not for life. Once you're Bowl people, you remain Bowl people. So I'll be there forever. Along with the Jews. I love them.

A few weeks ago, the Bowl had some tribute to Gershwin week. It's fun music and a lot of seats were filled. I noticed it attracted a lot of British people, too. I was working at the main gate that night, checking tickets with my 6,000 dollar scanner which makes noises that are curiously similar to the sound effects from Galaga.

Anyway, I got sent on break and as I was heading up to wardrobe to get my crap out of my locker, some frantic British woman power-walked up to me and demanded (I mean really demanded) to know where the lost and found is.

"I demand to know where the lost and found is!" Ok, no. But she said it demandingly. I told her it was "out that way, the first door on the left." So she runs "out that way", looks at the three doors, obviously bypasses the door marked "Hollywood Bowl Operations: Lost and Found" and runs back to me yelling, "WHERE!" I tell her, "THAT way... over yonder. You'll see it marked on the door." She demands (well, you know what I mean) I take her there. I didn't want to waste break time, so I just tell her it's that way and she should look for the sign.

Then she starts yelling at me... "You don't know where it is?! You work here and you don't even know where the lost and found is? How intelligent is that? HOW intelligent is that? HOW INTELLIGENT IS THAT?" I wasn't sure if she wanted an answer. It seemed rhetorical enough where I could just nod in agreement, but she kept asking. Demanding an answer. I decided to put my agreement into words. "Not very intelligent at all." Then she thought I was being "sassy", so she asked for my name and I spelled it for her because it's kind of uncommon.

Then she realized that she still doesn't know where the lost and found is and she said, "How can they put you to work without even teaching you the simplest of things?"

I answer, "Oh... I'm sorry, did you think I worked here? No, I'm just wearing this tie for personal reasons." She mumbles something about an unintelligent twit and I mumble something back about saving their asses in WWII.

I guess I should have been more sympathetic. It's hard to read signs when you're foreign.