God bless us... every one!

I watched "7th Heaven" recently for the first time in a long time. It was a part of my generous attempt to give the WB a chance to redeem itself for years of subpar programming. What I noticed is that not much has changed. Ruthie grew up and she wears lipstick now. Matt's annoying deaf girlfriend is gone, and surprisingly, so is Matt. The show is still built upon laughably phony religious themes and the scenes still fade out with someone looking meaningfully up at the ceiling, as if to look for water damage.

More significantly, this experiment also made me realize how religion in America has evolved over the centuries. We carry only a wisp of a memory of our Calvinist roots. We were, initially, a people driven by the protestant work ethic. Work hard, and if you become wealthy, you are chosen by God. Once you know you are chosen by God, your next act is to prove your election to your congregation. Now, we are driven by a contorted version of the same principle, but we call it "The American Dream". We are not particularly concerned with salvation, but still, we work hard. And if we get rich... Well, there is probably some tax evasion involved.

Where is God's role in all of this? Who cares. Does anyone even know if it says "In God We Trust" on our bills anymore? And, for the last time, are we or are we not one nation under God?

All this talk makes me long for a simpler time. 1747, perhaps, in Sabbathday Lake, Maine with a community of Shakers. A group of people who make furniture, observe communal living, and practice celibacy are perhaps not the brightest bunch, but they know simplicity when they see it. In retrospect, as they sit around scratching their heads at their conspicuously vacant town meetings, they may see that the celibacy thing was not the best idea when you take into consideration that Sabbathday Lake, Maine is the only remaining Shaker community. And perhaps someone will comment, "Maybe the Catholics had it right with no birth control."

But I'm certainly not one to be forming an opinion against any religion--I, who observe my own brand of American faith. My God probably doesn't care about my work ethic, but I can't be sure. All I can say for certain is that he is, like most gods, big and friendly. And he is a Disney animation chop suey--with a head and torso of Ariel's dad, right down to the trident, and resembling Genie from the waist down. Does no one see the evil in this?